Awakening

By Anurag Shantam
(With R. J. Doucette)
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The God Center

The God center is located in the area of the third eye. The essence of this center is truth. The part of you that takes truth very seriously, that part is your God, trying to hold dear His essence - truth.

Into each life is born a Spirit of trust, a Soul of love, and a God of truth. Perhaps you can remember your childhood lessons about truth. Like most children, you were taught to tell the truth. It is the nature of the God in the child not yet corrupted, to tell the truth. But lessons imparted with the best intentions about the value of truth, are early on at odds with the lessons of experience.

For instance, the child-God learns that many times when he speaks the truth, it causes embarrassment and conflict for his parents. How many children are actually, sincerely praised for telling the truth? Overtly or covertly his parents' inner Gods cannot avoid becoming angry and blaming the child. Even if this anger is not overtly expressed, the child knows, and may feel guilty and fearful. That is, his Soul begins to slip into the veil of pain, and his Spirit begins to slip into the veil of fear. The child may also experience confusion and frustration as he tries to make sense of the conflicting messages he is receiving. Thus, as the anger veil begins to appear, the child-God instinctively embraces it.

It doesn't take the child-God long to discern the fundamentals of truth in an ego-driven world, the most fundamental being: truth equals punishment.
In growing anger, the child-God seeks to reconcile his actual knowledge of truth with the confusing, contradictory, ego distortions of truth. He is not stupid - even in a child's body. This is an ancient God, an intelligent God, and it doesn't take the child-God long to discern the fundamentals of truth in an ego-driven world, the most fundamental being: truth equals punishment. That is, whenever parents, teachers, or other adults demand the truth, it is not because truth has some fundamental value in itself. Rather, these other Gods want the child-God to acknowledge their view of the truth. They do not want to instruct in the value of the sanctity of truth, but rather they seek an excuse to blame and punish for disagreement. The child-God learns early on that whenever truth is demanded of him, it is often the prelude to, and the justification for, punishment. Thus, the lesson learned is a simple one - truth leads to blame and punishment.

While the child is being indoctrinated in the confusing ego values surrounding truth, he witnesses the adults around him lying, deceiving, and distorting truth to serve their own purposes. They do this even as they are attempting to impart the moral and ethical values that they hold dear, to the child.

God learns his lessons well. By the time of adolescence, when the child-God begins to emerge as a major player in life, he has become expert in deception, lies, and blame. In preparation for his entry into the larger world, the child-God has mastered the blame game and become completely disconnected from his essence, which is truth. He enters the world hardened, cynical, angry, alienated, and ready to point the finger of blame at everyone - at parents, friends, lovers, bosses, coworkers, enemies - even at the world itself.

The lessons that the child-God learned about the corruption of truth, he will pass on to his own children. Thus the creative and blessing God disappears once again into ego corruption, as these false truths are unknowingly passed on to a new generation of child-Gods who are guided and mentored in the schizophrenic world where truth, far from setting you free, appears to have exactly the opposite effect.

This endless tradition of passing on an angry God to subsequent generations is not meant to be an indictment of parents. That would be a misinterpretation, for parents are already so crippled by their own ego illusions they cannot help but pass them on to their children. Unless a parent has a conscious intent to destroy a child, I am against blaming parents for the dysfunction of their offspring. However twisted and distorted that intent may become as it is expressed through ego distortion, every parent intends to do the best for their children.

Furthermore, although every child is born in innocence, he is also born with the seeds of corruption. These seeds are the veils, which are dormant at birth. As the light of consciousness begins to flow through them they respond to it and they grow. Even with enlightened parents, Soul's love light would dim as the pain veil began to grow, Spirit's trust light would dim as the fear veil began to grow, and God's truth light would once again disappear into anger.

God took His love, compassion, and caring to create Soul. He took His trust, fairness and playfulness to create Spirit.
What happened to God? How can the angry vengeful tyrant inside of you be God? He is not fair, or just, or compassionate. What happened to change Him? The answer is simple. He created some companions - the human Soul, Eve, and the human Spirit, Adam. God created them out of Himself. He took His love, compassion, and caring to create Soul. He took His trust, fairness and playfulness to create Spirit. The God who entered the garden was one. The God who left the garden, the God inside each of us, is divided into three parts, each containing an essence, a single quality of the divine. The essence of Soul is love. The essence of Spirit is trust. The essence of God is truth.

With these three centers of consciousness held separate and in conflict by the ego veils, you can experience the world entirely through your God center, but you will be neither loving and compassionate (Soul) nor fair and trusting (Spirit). You will, instead, be arbitrary and arrogant. You can and do shift from center to center, as though angry, critical and blaming in one moment (God), and in the next moment tearful, guilty and vulnerable (Soul). Or perhaps you shift to your Spirit center, through which you will listen and seek conciliation rather than simply laying down the law (God).

You can easily distinguish these three parts in yourself or in others - all one has to do is look. The phony ego mask will be deceptive, but just ask yourself, "what lies behind the mask?" Is it anger? Is it fear or pain? In metaphysical terms, there are three great thrones inside each of us. They are occupied by Soul, Spirit, and God. There is an illustration of the enthroned God on the dollar bill - the pyramid of the great seal with a capstone of an open eye - the symbol of the awakened God on his throne.

However, in today's world there is a usurper on God's throne, and this usurper is anger. It is not unlike an evil advisor who whispers to the king, trying through his deviousness to control the king and his kingdom. In most Gods today, anger doesn't just sit beside God on his throne, it actually occupies the throne, ruling in the name and with the power of God. Unfortunately, in the age of science and technology, we have no wizards who can instantly overthrow the usurper, as they can in fairytales. God must actually work, develop some awareness, in order to banish the usurper and regain His rightful place in both the material world and the inner world.

Though God is not stupid, he is made so by the anger - an ancient advisor that over time has grown in power and influence, making God weak and powerless.
Though God is not stupid, he is made so by the anger - an ancient advisor that over time has grown in power and influence, making God weak and powerless. One reason God is so attached to his anger is that he feels powerless without it. But like all the veils, there is a deception - without God the anger has no power. That is, the power God feels in the anger is His own power, not the power of the anger. Simply remember how even when your own God feels most powerful when He is in the anger, he simultaneously feels powerless. God, who is powerful, gives his power to the anger. This makes God feel powerless and impotent, even as God's own anger gives Him the illusion of power.

The anger also sends a deceptive message to God. Of course you're angry, it says. Anyone facing a similar situation would be angry. In other words, anger justifies its existence to the very thing that is unwittingly controlled by it - your inner God.

If the God inside of you wants to know why He feels so powerless, He just needs to be alert. The next time He storms about something, ask yourself if whatever seemingly annoyed God is really worthy of His attention, or if it is instead something so petty as to be beneath Him. Perhaps your God gets angry about loftier issues, like politics, religion, corporate greed or government corruption. These are legitimate concerns of God, but if He is alert, He will see there is very little He can actually do except, perhaps, to stew hour after hour in that ugliness that is the anger. The point I wish to make is that every moment God is lost in anger, steaming over petty issues, his power, intelligence, and creativity are pouring into that corruption, making him feel ugly, mean, vindictive and powerless. Of course he feels powerless. The anger has consumed his power and transported him from perfection, into an ugly, violent nightmare.

More anger, less God. More anger, less creativity. More anger, less intelligence. God, who keeps the books inside, detailing credits and debits in the world of good and evil, is so blinded by the anger veil that the simple math of this equation escapes him. His relationship with the anger is a deal with the devil, and God, who prides Himself on His business acumen, has been taken for a ride on a cosmic scale.

God needs to reflect on those situations in life that He regrets to this day. He needs to ask whether or not whatever was said or done in the past was said or done in anger. God doesn't like to think he is stupid, because he is not. But the ego veils, being the opposite of what they surround, are stupid in equal measure to the intelligence that is poured into them to give them light and sustenance. As an advisor to God, the anger veil is easily revealed for what it actually is - petty, mean, condemning, judgmental, cruel and unbelievably stupid.

Only an awakened God can give a gift unconditionally, without expectation of a gift in return.
God is the place of generosity. All Gods think of themselves as being generous, and many are. It is part of God's nature to be generous. But generosity too moves through ego corruption, with the result that no gift is given freely or unconditionally. The ego is always keeping books and lists, chronicles of its own experience of the world of good and evil - lists of scores to settle, revenge to be meted out, and the monetary list - what has been given, what has not been received in return. Only an awakened God can give a gift unconditionally, without expectation of a gift in return. A gift is a gift, not an investment or a transaction. In the ego world, true gifts have disappeared. The great God of creation, reduced to being a petty corrupt accountant, devotes his attention and energy to pouring over lists of ancient slights, insults, and inequalities.

All religions are created by God, and wherever there is an ideological belief system that seeks to control and manipulate people, it is His creation.
This is the gift the ego anger has bestowed on the great God who created, and is in everything visible, in this, his creation. The anger, the ancient evil and trusted advisor, has turned God into the enslaver and destroyer of His own creation. If you think slavery has disappeared, consider this - would you go to work today if not for the economic slavery imposed by the true religion that dominates Western thought - Capitalism? In the ego world of good and evil, Capitalism shares with all religions the properties to deliver both good and evil. All religions are created by God, and wherever there is an ideological belief system that seeks to control and manipulate people, it is His creation.

These many religions are always at war with each other. We no sooner end the holy war between Capitalism and Communism, than another holy war appears - this time of more traditional nature, between recognized traditional religions. As John F. Kennedy said, "All wars are holy wars". But why? They are all holy wars simply by virtue of who is fighting them - God. Angry self-righteous Gods fighting angry self-righteous Gods, husbands fighting wives, Democrats fighting Republicans, fundamentalists fighting secular humanists, New Age believers fighting traditionalists, workers fighting management, women fighting men, homosexuals fighting heterosexuals - all angry, fighting Gods. What un-winnable holy wars are distracting your own angry God as His creation is being destroyed?

Each warring God believes He is on the side of good, and that the opposing God is on the side of evil. None of these Gods is awakened. Sleeping Gods are fighting on both sides, each convinced by the anger veil of their own rightness and virtue. They mindlessly go on destroying the real world and its real inhabitants, in service to false, illusionary ideologies and beliefs given to them by others. They are brainwashed, just as innocent children are brainwashed with the promise of 75 virgins and passage to Paradise, into becoming suicide bombers. All to impose a particular ideological slavery upon humanity.

As long as the anger veil controls your God, He will be endlessly engaged in holy wars, both petty and monumental.
As long as the anger veil controls your God, He will be endlessly engaged in holy wars, both petty and monumental. I suggest a holy war more worthy of His attention, a war that He can really win - the war to destroy the ego illusion within. In this war God is assured of victory. He is, after all, God, and ego is His creation, and therefore can never be more powerful than Him. Might this not be the perfect time to reclaim Eden and liberate his children, Soul and Spirit, from ancient darkness, and regain the love and respect he lost so long ago?

The anger veil claims to show God the truth, and in most cases it does. Not that the anger has insight into truth - the anger is an illusion - it can no more know truth than it can know love or trust. It cannot know anything. Look not to the anger to reveal truth, but rather to the God looking through the veil of anger, the God whose essence is truth. Wherever an awakened God looks, He sees Himself - He sees truth. That which determines truth is God looking, not the anger veil which is simply directing God where to look. If my anger directs my God to look and listen to the Israelis, I will see truth there. But if it directs me to look there, it does not allow me to see or hear the truth spoken by the Palestinians, also sleeping Gods, also speaking truth.

In entering the anger veil, God entered a world artificially divided into good and evil. Anger directs God where to look and what to hear, and does not allow Him to look elsewhere or hear anything different. This is why an angry person will not hear a word you are saying, nor will he see where you are pointing. The ego is the divided world of good and evil. It is impossible for ego to concede that two opposing sides or viewpoints could both be true.

Only in an awakened state is God able to look everywhere and hear everything. What God finds is Himself - truth everywhere. He is no longer forced by the anger to take sides in the endless holy wars over truth. He becomes once again free. Once free, he discovers what has eluded him for so long - peace.

In the ego world, stripped of power by the anger veil, God perceives that the only way to reclaim the power He has lost is with money. Even the most pious televangelist focuses on money. It is the universal God of our age. God sees other Gods with great power, in direct proportion to the amount of wealth they have amassed. In the world of ego deception, God is deceived into believing that wealth will restore His power, bring back the respect He has lost, and of course furnish a universal currency with which to buy love. It is unfortunate that only the rich are able to know the emptiness of this deception.

If God is successful in gaining wealth, it will buy power and domination over others, but His kingdom will be peopled with slaves. They will respect Him to His face, but envy and despise Him behind his back. They will pretend to love Him. Being intelligent, God will know their respect is false and will disappear without money, as will their false love. Having exhausted the possibilities of redemption in ego world, God will eventually slip into defeat and bitterness. I am not against money - nor am I saying that you must eschew money. Once awakened, you will still be in a world dominated by ego. But in your new wisdom you will be able to use money, not be used by it.

God is the part that looks down on people. A smart God knows He should not do this, and tries to hide His arrogance. But this trait is true of all fallen Gods, and like all aspects kept in denial, it is important to recognize. It is an ego distortion of truth. There is a natural basis for the tendency of God to look down on the mortals around Him. His center is in the forehead, the third eye, and His physical relationship with the two human centers of consciousness, is that they exist below Him on the human body. Soul resides in the heart, and Spirit resides in the solar plexus.

God watches over them from above, and from there He looks down at them. This is why Soul and Spirit always feel as if they are being judged from above, because in the world of the body, judgment does come from above them. In the natural world there is no judgment. In other words, an awakened God does not look down with contempt. He simply looks. From His throne He looks to the thrones of Soul and Spirit. In the divided, conflicted world of ego, this becomes distorted, and God finds Himself looking down with contempt on humanity.

God is the part inside who is above rules, and above the law. Laws are written by angry Gods, supposedly to protect us. But laws have a curious side effect. In the ego world of good and evil, every law that is written with the intent to protect us, also diminishes our freedom. Every law that is written to ensure our safety and well-being, simultaneously diminishes our freedom and enslaves us. There are so many laws in America, one cannot exist without breaking them daily, often without even trying.

Every God believes that laws are meant for all the other Gods, and that they do not really apply to Him. He is God, who makes the laws within for Soul and Spirit. Laws may apply to a husband, wife or child, but not to the God within. He is above the law. Nevertheless, when not totally possessed by the anger veil, God is intelligent, and understands the necessity of rules to govern life. But when you are running a stop sign or cheating on your taxes, it is your God doing it. It is not Soul. It is not Spirit, whose very fear is used by the law to control him. Generally, it is God who breaks the law. For ordinary folk, this usually means small harmless incursions into the world of lawlessness. But for wealthy powerful Gods, lawlessness can reach catastrophic proportions, particularly when those Gods are in charge of corporations or governments.

In relationships, God is absent in the beginning. After all, in the beginning one tries to put one's best face forward. An angry God with His ugly face wisely remains hidden in the background. Though hidden, He busies Himself keeping the books - that is, recording the list of transgressions of the hidden relationship rules. The partner, not privy to this demonic rulebook, naturally will make mistakes. God also records the hot buttons for pain and fear for future use, for he always seeks to strike at the most vulnerable places - Soul and Spirit.

The most common trait of all ego relationships is that love is not nourished - it is crushed.
When the honeymoon period ends, God begins to appear. Once angry Gods appear in a relationship, it is usually the beginning of the end. When arguments erupt, partners are stunned to have their words and actions from long ago thrown in their faces, leaving them asking where did this come from? An angry God has a long memory, crammed with the slights of a lifetime, and He is always ready for revenge. His revenge will most likely be aimed at Soul (to hurt), or Spirit (to scare), threatening the security of the relationship. If both Gods in the relationship are successful in meting out punishment to Soul and Spirit, love and trust will be destroyed. Remaining will be two bickering Gods, connecting only in endless blame, neither hearing the other, both blind to the insanity they are causing, having the same argument over and over again. Nothing is heard, nothing resolved. Eventually, one or both Gods will simply end it.

The most common trait of all ego relationships is that love is not nourished - it is crushed. Usually, the poor innocent Soul is left with blame and guilt. Somehow in the ego world, inexplicably, it will all be her fault. With another relationship gone, she will find comfort in the arms of pain. The tragedy of it all is that God, the great destroyer of love and life, never chose to destroy anything. That decision was made by the anger. God has become the lackey of mindless, ego anger.

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