Awakening

By Anurag Shantam
(With R. J. Doucette)
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The Concept of Trinity

We think of ourselves as a unity. There is one of us. But we are, in fact, engaged in an unending and often unpleasant internal dialogue of conflicting opinions. We condemn and praise ourselves, but if we are a single entity, how can we be in conflict with ourselves? In order to have conflict, there must be at least two players. When I am condemning myself, part of me is pointing a finger and feeling powerful, and another part is receiving the condemnation and feeling bad. Though on the deepest level, we are each a unity, we are not living in that unity consciousness. We live instead in a state of divided, split consciousness. In such a state, we are in conflict with ourselves. If you are in conflict with yourself, the only certainty is that you will lose every single time. Therefore, to heal conflict and bring the divided consciousness back into one, you must first understand something of the nature of human consciousness, and the concept of trinity.

The power of the Master's question is that it reveals a profound truth. You are not your story. You are, in fact, lost in its narrative. The difference between man and lower life forms is that unlike the latter, humans are capable of observing themselves - of being conscious of themselves. When I am sad, I am also aware of my sadness. In other words, part of me is sad, but another part of me observes my sadness and may even comment on it or attempt to change it. Whatever state I may be experiencing, another part of me has the ability to step outside of myself to observe. If I had a unified consciousness, I would be in total sadness, without any awareness detached from and aware of the sadness, and with no way to consciously change my state. Does this mean there are only two centers of consciousness, one that experiences and one that observes? Or are there more than two?

Though the concept of trinity exists in other religions, in Christianity it is expressed as the Holy Trinity of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. There is a judgmental father, or God, inside each of us. He is resentful at the way life has turned out for you individually, and the way it has turned out for mankind collectively. There is a son, or Spirit. He is very insecure, constantly feeling he is not good enough, not smart enough, not productive enough, doesn't work hard enough - a son who never seems to live up to the expectations of others or of the father. There is a daughter, a Soul. The Soul inside us is our love center - it is from our Soul that we love, seek love, seek connection. When we experience moments of extreme tenderness - that is when we're touching our Soul. This is a most difficult period in history for the Soul, one in which she is valued very little. In many ways, modern society is basically anti-Soul. In western tradition, the spirit of regeneration, the Holy Ghost, is the Soul.

Each of the three parts, or centers of consciousness - Spirit, Soul, and God - has its own desires, needs and aspirations. In religion and psychology, each can be further divided into different personalities, or archetypes, but it is with the three elemental centers themselves that we will concern ourselves. Before we examine these three centers, let us return for a moment to the events in the garden and revisit not only God's own transformation, but also the effect of His transformation on our own stories.

To heal conflict and bring the divided consciousness back into one, you must first understand that parts of the internal trinity are in conflict.
We accept that human beings are the fallen children, fated to experience suffering in the vale of tears. We believe that God is watching us from some divine "out there", totting up the score and judging our individual performances. Yet, the most significant piece of the myth is often overlooked. Though we understand the misfortune of Adam and Eve, we overlook the fact that God too fell. Not only did the children of God leave the garden - He left with them. They all fell from grace. With the events of Eden, He changed from being the creative, good and blessing God who entered the garden, into the angry, vengeful, destructive God who left it. Within a few chapters of mankind?s story, we hear of God creating genocide against all life on earth to punish His fallen children.

Is God really doing this from on high? Or rather, if we are made in His image, is he doing it through us? Inside of every human being there is an angry vengeful God keeping track of all deeds. He is experienced as the internal judge and control. He wants to be in control of this life. He is that perfectionist inside, and we cannot live up to this idea of perfection. He cannot even do that.

Even though the creator of this world is inside of every one of us, His creativity has been transformed into creative destruction. In each one of us, this great God of creation has the ability to destroy His very creation. In the garden, He blamed Adam and Eve for the destruction of Paradise, the archetype of the "blame game". This destructive finger pointing is destroying our own world. Each one of us is unwittingly participating in this destruction. You are the Father who is judging and blaming, overseeing life. You are the son, who is anxious and afraid. You are the daughter, the sorrowful soul. You are all of them.

Nevertheless, you do not believe you are all of them. Each of our individual Gods believes He is on the side of good. Our individual Gods want to be good, but our concepts of good and evil are an accident of birth. Our belief systems are rooted in the cultures and political systems, the societies and families into which we are born. We do not know that something is good or evil - we believe it is good or evil. Our individual Gods have beliefs that divide the world into good and evil. In this state, God is in a place of belief - and wherever there is belief, there is a shadow of doubt behind it.

Each individual God tries to find and join other individual Gods with similar beliefs, for doing so strengthens the belief system. Each also rejects the individual Gods that do not adhere to the belief system, forming an impenetrable barrier of anger. When an individual God is Awakened, He not only slips out of the divided world of good and evil - He slips from a place of belief into a place of knowing. He then knows certain things are true, but no longer needs others to verify the truth - at that point truth is selfevident. An Awakened God is one who has slipped out of the divided world of good and evil and become available to listen to other Gods and their truths.

The creative and blessing God who is in all of us must be awakened from this nightmare that He and we are caught in. We must individually awaken Him within us. If we do not, He will continue to destroy His creation. My goal is to point the way home by Awakening this God in all of us, and inevitably answer the Master's question, "Who are you?"

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