Awakening

By Anurag Shantam
(With R. J. Doucette)
next chapter
previous chapter
contents
Anurag's bio

Sex

This book would be incomplete without touching upon the topic of sex, an issue that has plugued religion and spirituality for so long. The natural world is very sexual and sensual. Some Masters characterize existence as a love affair, and in observing nature you would have to agree. Everywhere you look in nature, there are sexual encounters. Whether it is the exchange of pollen in the plant world, or semen in the animal world, sex is everywhere and it is always happening.

But in the ego experience, nothing is natural or simple. In ego separation it is easy to forget that we are part of this natural sexual world. Sex is truly the last place where we can be natural, the last contact we have with the bliss we knew so long ago. Ironically, this last link we have to the divine, has been condemned by the religions of the world, though I do not believe it has been by deliberate intent. Nonetheless, as a marketing strategy for religions, this condemnation is brilliant. Condemn the last remaining natural link to the divine and create an exclusive monopoly. Tell the world, If you want the divine you must come through us. There is no other way. As I said, I do not intend to impart the suggestion of evil intent by religions – after all, they too have suffered from this condemnation, as evidenced by scandals that have plagued various churches over the years. Like the rest of humanity, religions too are crippled and controlled by ego.

It is understandable why sex would be condemned by ego. As ego grew, became sophisticated, and fancied itself civilized, it was not only becoming more separate from nature, but was also looking down at nature with contempt - as though the ego embodied something superior to nature, something separate from, and elevated above it. As we became more lost in the ego, the messages and philosophy it was creating for us made sense. Ego’s cruelty and stupidity were attributed to our animal past, a past that was inferior to the superior world of the mind, where ego lived. Sex is a constant reminder to ego that it has not, and cannot, escape the human link to the natural world. The heart of the ego illusion is the belief that we can control life, and sex is the part of the natural world that ego cannot control.

Sex is the part of the natural world that ego cannot control, and the heart of the ego illusion is the belief that we can control life.
The experience of orgasm, the feeling and bliss, is an ancient echo, a reminder of where we come from. As such, sex is very important to all three centers of consciousness, to all three parts of who we are. In that instant of bliss is the memory of what it felt like to be one, before the fall, before the separation of consciousness and its subsequent conflict and suffering. In the East the path of Tantra is just this - to use sex in a conscious, mindful, meditative way as a path to the divine. In the hands of an awakened Tantric master, sex is a very powerful medium of awakening. If you focus on awakening the centers, the Tantra will follow like a shadow.

While awakening, the most important guidance about sex is to just be as natural as you can be with it, though when engaging with partners, be mindful that the bedroom is very crowded. In the world of good and evil, ego has created huge expectations, boundaries, hot buttons, control, violence, and revenge, accompanied by a plethora of laws to regulate and punish the ego’s ‘crazy’ behavior.

In awakening, sex, like everything else in life, becomes transformed. In the ego world, sex is the barometer of love, for while the ego cannot know love, it can know sex. This is why to the ego, sex assumes such importance in relationships. Love cannot be touched, measured, stored, controlled, or accumulated. Sex, however, is something physical. Your ego can know if you are getting sex. Ego pays for sex, and deludes itself that it is buying love. Love cannot be bought or known by ego, but sex can. Hence, in the ego world, love is sex.

As Soul awakens, she realizes that sex is not love, and with that realization things naturally change for Soul. She remains open to sex, which is fun and provides an opportunity to connect with another soul and merge in ecstasy. However, Soul will lose interest in partners who provide her with disconnected soul-less sex, without love or merging or intimacy. This will not be a denial or repression of sex, but a natural change arising from the growing awareness that sex is an expression of love only when Soul is present When Soul is absent, sex is simply sex. In this age of soul-denial, sex is increasingly just sex. You can enjoy it when it is there and feels right, but do not confuse it with love unless you feel love flowing.

Once Eden consciousness has been attained, sex changes dramatically. The ego obsessions for and against sex arising out of the fear and pain veils, will fade.
Once Eden consciousness has been attained, sex changes dramatically. The ego obsessions for and against sex arising out of the fear and pain veils, will fade. Soul and Spirit will be left in a much more natural place regarding sex. The fear that held Spirit back, now dissolved, allows Spirit to be more adventurous or playful. The pain imprisoning Soul, now dissolved, allows Soul to connect in deeper ways than she has ever known. However, if a partner is not awake, Spirit’s and Soul’s newfound freedom will encounter the fear and pain boundaries of the other, and will be disappointed at being unable to explore with that partner, the world of potential now open to Spirit and Soul themselves. To be with a sleeping (i.e. un-awakened) partner is especially difficult for Soul, for her delicate energy, now free and able to flow, is easily thrown off when connecting to another’s ego energy. Each time she establishes a rhythm, the flow hits a dam, completely throwing her off.

Even before Soul and Spirit are entirely awake, something interesting starts to happen. As the veils dissolve, Soul energy begins to flow to Spirit, Spirit energy to Soul, and you begin to experience flashes of what can only be described as orgasm, but without sex. When masculine and feminine begin to meet inside, little mini-orgasms are experienced. They are not as intense as sexual orgasm, but clearly recognizable as feeling similar. These feelings or sensations occur on and off throughout the Soul / Spirit passage. At times they will be so intense that you will feel washed over with bliss. This is all a natural result of the inner male (Spirit) beginning to merge with the inner female (Soul). It is the re-emergence of the love affair within, a love that in ego darkness has, over time, become sour.

With the experience of an awakening Soul and Spirit, a new sense of self is being born. Your Soul, no longer starved for love, no longer a beggar, recognizing the difference between love and sex, is no longer so easily manipulated or willing to settle for loveless relationships. Besides, she discovers that some of the intermittent flashes of bliss which she experiences spontaneously are more satisfying that a lot of the sex she has had. Spirit, awake, has similar experiences. As he merges more and more with Soul, his growing respect and admiration for her makes him less likely to expose her to energy that is toxic, simply for sex. It is one of those ‘guy things’, in the best sense of the phrase.

Sex changes with the Soul / Spirit passage, in different ways for each individual. The commonality is that sex will begin to feel more natural, less encumbered with emotional baggage. It may not look the way experts say it should, but to you it will begin to feel more natural, more easy, more like how it should be for you.

Orgasms, alone or with a partner, will begin changing. With the Soul / Spirit awakening and the removal of major energy blocks of pain and fear, orgasmic feeling begins to move upwards. This will happen over time, as the energy once confined by the veils, begins to move over ancient pathways in the physical body, opening up what was for so long blocked and unused. No longer confined to the genital area, the stomach area and above will begin to pulsate in ecstasy. The orgasmic feeling will expand up to the heart, but will neither reach that high nor beyond, until you have cleared the God and Mother veils. The Mother veil runs across the chest, and until it is cleared, orgasm cannot spread upwards.

As the father and mother veils dissolve, the experience of orgasm moves upwards, through the heart area and to the crown (the head), the whole body pulsating with ecstasy. Sexual orgasms are no longer confined to one area of the body, and even the sense of a center from which the orgasm is spreading outwards, begins to disappear. However, the orgasm still seems to have a boundary – the body. As the mother veil dissolves, the final separation from existence disappears, and the experience of sexual orgasm subtly changes. Now there is no center and no boundary. The experience becomes one of the whole of existence pulsating in ecstasy, with no beginning and no end.

What began with the Soul / Spirit awakening (uncaused waves of bliss) becomes, with the awakening of God, more intense, as the father masculine begins merging once again with the mother feminine. This is the beginning of Nirvanic consciousness. What starts as waves of bliss, as energies begin merging and resuming their ancient dance, begins to permeate consciousness, producing a feeling of well-being similar to orgasm. Unlike orgasm, which is hot and intense, this bliss is cool and subtle.

From the Soul / Spirit awakening onward, having sex with a partner who is un-awakened becomes increasingly difficult.
After this point, you can move to celibacy or not. Some of you may ask, ”Why go through the trouble for something I already have?” Celibate or not, sex has returned to its natural state. If sex disappears, the event will seem as natural as a leaf falling from a tree in autumn. Nothing will feel forced, repressed, or denied. From the Soul / Spirit awakening onward, having sex with a partner who is un-awakened becomes increasingly difficult. You will continuously run into your partner’s roadblocks, boundaries, and hidden minefield of hot buttons. At this point your own energy, though more integrated, is also more delicate. In intimate settings like a bedroom, where an un-awakened partner’s energy is all over the place, it will be impossible to feel balanced, focused and present to the moment. Remember - when you are bedding down with someone who is ‘asleep’, you are not engaging with one person, but with three – Soul, Spirit and God – each one encumbered with emotional baggage, boundaries and hot buttons.

The holy wars have invaded the bedroom with a vengeance, wreaking havoc as only fallen Gods can do. Understand that the unspoken, seductive yes to sex is Soul in her unconditional yes. The carved in stone no is the angry, vengeful God. Be aware, this God is basically anti-feminine. In men, He is the place of violence against women, for He resents needing woman to fulfill His carnal desires. In woman, He is the part that wants to punish men for eons of repression. So a word of warning – if your partner’s God shows signs of violence or irrational retribution, leave him or her. For until God is awake, there is no limit to His madness or revenge. Your Soul will recognize the danger. Listen to her.

next chapter
previous chapter
contents
Anurag's bio

0.01