Awakening

By Anurag Shantam
(With R. J. Doucette)
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Meditations

This chapter is devoted to the meditation technique that I have referred to throughout the book. This technique does not require concentration, contemplation or control. It simply requires a focused awareness. What is focused awareness? Every time you are confronted with a problem or challenge, you automatically and effortlessly focus your awareness on it. Here, the veils are your problem, and they are unlike any problem you have encountered before. Because they are so challenging, the Awakening meditation does require effort, particularly in the beginning. As I have explained, the veils distract your awareness, moving your focus to the illusions the veils are generating. Your challenge, especially in the beginning, is to ignore these illusions and learn to continuously re-focus your awareness on the veils - on the physical sensations they create as they transform light into darkness and consciousness into un-consciousness.

The beginning of the meditation is the most difficult, for ego will continue to do what it has always done. Ego will distract you from the reality of what is happening - a sensation in the physical body - to the illusion that it is creating in your mind. But once you have developed the ability to focus and watch the sensations, you will be able to do the meditation anywhere. You will be able to call upon this ability whenever you find yourself in a hurting or sad state, or in a fearful or anxious state.

One
Find a quiet space free of distractions.
Two
Sit comfortably.
Three
Close your eyes.
Four
Ask yourself, “What am I feeling?” In other words, ask yourself if you are feeling hurt-sad-depressed, or fearful-anxious-panicky. Since one can’t feel a label, and yet you are obviously feeling something, ask yourself what it is you are actually feeling. Where is the physical sensation you are feeling that the mind is labeling sad-painful or anxious-fearful? Look around your heart area for the pain sensation. Look around the stomach area for the fear sensation. Do not look for something unusual, for these sensations have always been there. Look for the obvious. Trust your awareness, for it will usually focus on exactly where you need to watch.
Five
Once you have located the physical sensation, detach your awareness from it and, like a scientist, simply observe it as a physical phenomenon, neither for nor against. It is simply an uncomfortable physical sensation. Do not try to control or fight it. Do not try to understand it or fathom the illusionary message or teaching that it holds for you, for to do so will simply take you back into your mind, where you will spin your wheels as you have always done in the past. Keep reminding yourself that it is only a physical sensation, one that means nothing and has nothing to teach you.
Six
The power of the ego distraction will pull you back into your mind, back into the familiar nightmare. You will have a thought or a remembrance that you were observing a sensation. Detach and watch. In the beginning it will probably be difficult to hold the awareness on the sensation for more than a few minutes before getting distracted by the fearful, hurtful thoughts in your mind. You may even have thoughts that you cannot do the meditation – that you are not advanced enough or good enough. You may have thoughts that the meditation is not working, or that it won’t work.
Treat these thoughts like the distractions they are, and bring your awareness back to the sensation. Watch until you once again find yourself distracted by familiar negative thinking, and simply shift your awareness back to reality – a very uncomfortable physical sensation. Each time you return to the sensation, you will find yourself able to watch it for a longer period before once again finding yourself distracted.
Seven
Once you are able to watch sensations for extended periods of five, ten or fifteen minutes without getting distracted, you will begin to notice that the sensations come in waves. This wavelike quality may be subtle at first, then become intense, then may abate somewhat, only to intensify once again. As I pointed out elsewhere, the veils are layered, and as you move into each layer, sensations will begin to intensify then abate, only to intensify again as you clear layer after layer.
Sometimes the sensation will seem to disappear. If it does, you may stop the meditation for that sitting. If, however, you have the time and determination to continue watching, you can self-activate the sensation by simply imagining a familiar painful or fearful situation. This will be enough to re-ignite the sensation.
Though not always possible, it is best to end the meditation between layers, when the sensation, while not entirely gone, is nonetheless not intense.
The ego does not want you to do this meditation. The whole purpose of the meditation is to cut the flow of nourishment to ego’s roots, the place it protects most because it is the place of its greatest vulnerability. In addition to the familiar distractions of painful / fearful thoughts, new thoughts will be generated – thoughts about the meditation itself. It is not working. I cannot do it. I am not doing it right. It is too hard. If it were working, why am I still having waves of sensations? These messages will be endless. The sensations themselves will seem endless. Remind yourself, especially when you become discouraged, that you can be aware of either the sensation or the nightmare being generated by it. In either case, the sensation will be there. The only difference is that by watching, you are dissolving the sensation, whereas when you are lost in the familiar ego nightmare, you are perpetuating it.

Since you are going to be in discomfort from the sensation anyway, you might as well settle in and watch. You have probably endured far greater discomfort in pursuit of worldly goals, goals that proved ephemeral. Remember that you are now engaged in reclaiming your Soul and Spirit. Watching the veils may seem endless, but it is not. Continue watching until the sensations begin to disappear, the veils are clear, and innocent Soul and Spirit are once again bathed in light.

There is another meditation that will arise spontaneously as the veils are cleared, but for you intrepid Souls and Spirits, anxious to end the ego nightmare and reclaim your lives, I will include it here.

Eight
This meditation is simple, to be done wherever you think of it when you are in situations interacting with others. It is a simple awareness of the false ego mask, the false patterning of ego existence.
Whenever it occurs to you, simply ask yourself,“Am I being true in this moment, or false?” By asking this question, there will be a subtle detachment from the falseness of the mask that you are wearing at the moment - an awareness that your speech or actions are not flowing spontaneously - that you are, in effect, pretending to be someone rather than spontaneously being who you are.
Be careful not to judge what you see, or change whatever pattern or mask you become aware of. Rather, make the neutral observation that in that moment you feel phony or forced, that you are not being who or what you really are. Again, make no judgments as to whether this is right or wrong. Make no attempt to alter your behavior or try to be more real, authentic or sincere.
Each time you find yourself in this false pattern or mask, it will appear successively clearer, in sharper focus. With no effort on your part, the patterning creating the mask will begin to dissolve, as your energy is naturally, effortlessly withdrawn. You have seen the ego pretense of you.
This meditation will work in tandem with the watching meditation, enabling the awareness to move through outer layers of ego patterning, towards the centers, even as you are working to liberate the centers themselves. As you work with this meditation, you can even affirm yourself, priding yourself on how cleverly you fooled others with your false mask. This is alright, since the purpose of the meditation is to tell yourself the truth – to become aware of what is. How you handle what you see, vis-a-vis others, is entirely up to you. You are, after all, a living albeit sleeping God. Most people are used to, and more comfortable with, a false mask than with the truth. Once you have awakened, you will have plenty of time and opportunity to both be your truth, and assume false masks when it suits you.
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