Silja: Sannyasins are just normal people
Silja, a smart lady from Berlin, mother of two beautiful children, femme fatale of the Shangri La caretaker, has been visiting us regulary nearly every two months. We gave her couple of questions to find out, how does she feels here in the sannyas community as she has not decided for herself to take sannyas yet.
You are more or less regulary coming to Shangri La, I think it was some two years ago you came here for the first time. What was your motivation or the first
impuls for visiting this place?I came for the first time to Shangri La three years ago - with my mother and twin-sister. That summer '99 was a difficult time for me because I was spliting with the father of my kids. I felt sad, shaky and without any power. My mum and sister were already few times here, so they told me about that silent place, where one can have peace and enjoy the nature. I decided to come with them, to relax a bit and to gain more power again to go on in my life with kids.
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You haven't decided to take sannyas yet. How you can see all the sannyas rumour happening here?
At the very beginning, when I came here the first few times, I was thinking - wow, these sannyasins are really different then the other people, more peaceful, kind, ... nice atmosphere. But the longer I was coming to Shangri La, the more my view about sannyasins changed. I saw, that they are also just normal people, with all the problems, ups & downs, good and bad moods, which all people have. Some are likable, some are not. Some are open and kind, some not, simply normal. One positive difference is, that some of them are more careful, more respectful to each other. I have never seen that difficulties and misunderstandings could end up in unpleasant fights.
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Another view I have about sannyasins is, that most of them are not really used in having contact with kids. Shangri La is a place for adults. It was never planned that also kids could visit this place regularly. I am almost the only one, who is coming here with kids. Sometimes it is not easy for me, nor for the people around.
What does Osho mean for you? Do you feel any connection towards him?
The first few times when I heard something about Osho, I wasn't really interested in him. My step-father was talking so much about Osho, that it was almost getting on my nerves. But after a while I started to read Osho books and I liked it and became more and more interested in it. Very often it helps me to read something from Osho or to listen to a tape, especially when I am in bad mood or in difficulties. Sometimes I am listening to Osho tapes for better falling asleep and sometimes my kids are saying: 'Mama, we want to hear an Osho tape!', even they don't understand a single word.
Especially my way, how to live together with my kids changed, since I have had a contact with Osho books and tapes and I am very happy and also thankful for this change.
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It seems like you could have a nice place for living here, which is being built also for you. Have you decided already to move here or are you still hesitating?
No, I haven't decided to move in. On one hand it is very enticing opportunity for me, because I could live with my love Almasta and all this travelling would end. Also I could escape from this noisy, dirty city and live with my kids in a beautiful house with garden. But on the other hand I feel like I am not open for such a big change, like risking too much. In Berlin I have friends, here not. My kids would be forced to live far away from their father, their grandparents, friends, we would have to change the school and learn a new (very difficult) language. I also don't know how I could earn money here for me and my kids, especially when I have heard that unemployment and alcoholism are big problems in these small villages around.
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Silja's paintings
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Avikal: message | Aug 22, 2002 |
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